Here Again

 It's a Saturday, December 16, 2023. I sure do miss this place, Blogger. I was scrolling through Twitter (aka X) the other night, reading a short thread by a writer out of Boston that I follow, when who did I see leave a comment on that thread but the very recognizable name and profile pic of Verdant Dude. I couldn't believe.. I knew it had to be the same guy from Blogger. I went to his profile and it checked out, so I hit the follow button. He hasn't followed back, though. Oh well. We will always have Blogger circa 2011.

With Christmas just around the corner, I once again slide into that feeling of ennui, which is defined as "a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement." I'm 58 and my parents are dead. I have no children, my siblings are 3 hours away. And actually, that's okay, to not have to worry about other people too much. Selfish, maybe. So often I am reminded of the line that Micky Rourke slurs out to Faye Dunaway in the movie Barfly, when she asks him if he likes people, and he replies, "yea, I like people.. but I seem to like them a lot better when they're not around."

Now that I'm back in retail, I'm around people a lot again. And, you know, I don't mind it that much, but it sure is a relief to clock out after the shift and get home to my man and my cat. Just us three. Only our problems to deal with. Selfish? Maybe.

I do as much as I can to contribute to other peoples shit. I wish I could be one of those amazing angels that do so much good! The big stuff! Doctoring, solving the Big Problems, canvassing and organizing! Ah, to be that amaze-balls~ 

I do the little things.. I am the gluer. I compliment, I listen and I help, in my small ways. Occasionally, I give financially, but truly, not that often, because I barely get by as it is. 

Anyway. Tonight we play a gig. And, as usual, I have anxiety about getting through the night without catching Covid or running into a deer prancing across the road.. you know, the usual.

Wish us luck, though, I'm sure it will all be fine.

Hope to come back soon, Blogger. These were the good ol' days.