Here's a photo from last September. Seems like a life time ago. I'm posing with Phyllis (holding her doggie Joy), my dad, Marden, and my dad's cousin Sandra. Sandra is American but has spent most of her life residing in Manchester, England, after marrying Peter, who was a bassoonist in the London Symphony Orchestra. They lived quite the life. Sandra was raised in Cuba, and has travelled the globe extensively. She and Mardy are ten years apart. She comes to visit friends and family every two or three years, so this was her last visit.
With this global pandemic going on, spreading havoc on every single god damn life on this planet, my darkest fears have come to roost in my little, bitty, tangled brain.
I may not ever see Sandra again. This could very well have been my last photo with her.
I haven't seen my Dad or Phyllis in a month now. I may not see either one of them again, either. At least, not while anyone of us is still alive.
Dramatic, you say?
Well, wake up.
Do I hope I'm wrong? Of course I do.
But, if that fucking virus hits were they live, due to their ages, they will no doubt need to be hospitalized, and I won't be allowed to be with them.
Fucking terrifying.
My itty bitty tangled brain has been ping-ponging around. Staying focused is about as easy as trying to hold a wet water ballon. I have never been super courageous. I'm not going to lie. I'm kind of scaredy cat. Not so much when I was young - but, now.
I wish I could write more.
I love you and you and it's been real people. Hope we all get through this.
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