Anxiety Dreams

This weekend, I have three gigs. Friday night, my "A" band, Black Cat Road, plays at our local bar. This should be super fun and cathartic. Sunday afternoon, my usual "easy" day, where I act as house bass player for an open blues jam. This involves me playing the opening set, usually four or five songs, then hanging out for two and half hours waiting for the jammers to get in their stage time, then I play a few more songs at the end to close it out.

It's Saturday night that I'm worried about. The two singers in Black Cat Road get booked a lot for duo gigs. Once in a while, guitarist Stevo gets double booked, so I am asked to cover on guitar so that our singer Jess can still do the duo show.

When I play bass, I am very comfortable. When I play guitar in this duo situation, I am quite the opposite. First of all, Stevo's shoes are very big. He's one of the most creative and seasoned guitarists in this state. He's also a natural ham, and has no fears speaking into the mic in between songs. His wit is infectious and he cracks everybody up.

Me, not quite so much.

I've been practicing as much as I can, but there is still only so much I can do. It's just a big challenge, but I've done it twice before, and I can do it again, but it still never makes it easier on my nerves. The worst part is I end up having dreams. The night before last, I had the classic "Oh shit, my teeth are rotting out" dream. You know the one. They always say that is a sign of stress.

Last night, my sub-conscience mind just went straight to the point. There I am, on stage with Jess (and mind you, it's the wrong venue, of course.) I am stalling as much as possible, as I can't get my guitar in tune. I have forgotten the song list and the extra cheat-sheets of lyrics I have prepared for the gig. There are other random men on the stage, honing in with their harmonicas and guitars. I start one of the songs that Stevo wrote and that I find challenging to replicate, and it's not happening, and Jess gets lost and sings out of key (in real life, this never happens and she's an amazing vocalist), and one of our regular fans is standing right in front of me and telling me how I should be playing the song.

Yep. When I woke from that dream, I had to laugh at myself. Can't get much more kooky then that! Classic case of nerves.

Now, I know that in real life, none of this will really happen, and I'm sure with our combined charms and sheer determination and grit, our performance will be well received. Even though my solo guitar playing isn't exactly groundbreaking, I will do my best to be solid and put on a good show.

Wish us luck!
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Duo Gig Last Year